Todays targets are fellow road users. If you either
- Have a (or ALL) your tail light out
- Change lanes without indicating
- Drive a a smoking sh1tbox (if it's french thats okay.. its a factory option)
- Don't know how to merge without coming to a complete stop and then wonder why no-one will let you in
- Drop cigarette butts from the window. What???? ashtray too good for you?...
- Turning out of a street instead of taking the left lane, get upto speed then change into the right, just veer across both without indicating.. or wait until there is a gap to traverse both.
... Then i hate you and everything you stand for. I even hate your parents, kids and even your pets, roll up in a corner and die.
However... i have found a solution that is quite frankly... brilliant. The auto makers hook up a device to your genitals... If you do something that is in the above list, you get a couple-o-thousand volts to your nether regions. Not enough to kill you of course, because that would just be silly, but enough to remind you that you're a prat.
I'm sure it would take off.... accidents would be down for 1, litter would be reduced, cars would be maintained properly, french cars would be off the roads for good.. its a win/win situation people!!!!.
... And while im at it... guys wearing skinny jeans.... Sure.. if you're female and < size 14 you look good, no doubting that. HOWEVER! no male should ever think they look good in them. If you really want to wear some of your girlfriends clothing, get a pair of her frilly lace knickers on or something.... but leave her jeans in the drawer because you're causing car accidents by people turning to have a 2nd look at 'that freak'.. nuf said?
·aaron on December 30 2008 21:57:05 ·
7 Comments · 170 Reads
·
I would however like to add:
- Those who are unable to maintain a constant speed while talking on a mobile - I don't even get that mad if someone's talking on a mobile but if you can't do two things at once, maybe focus on the one thing that might kill you!
- In fact ANYONE who's unable to maintain a consistent speed... especially those who find themselves having to break because they've gotten too close to the car in front which is traveling consistently....
- P plate fuckers who tailgate in traffic.. I CAN'T GO ANY FASTER THAN THE CAR IN FRONT so wrap your car around a pole and then see if your wheelchair can go any faster....
hahahahahah well said to both of you, and I'll add:
- People who drive with their fog lights on when its NOT FUCKING FOGGY, wankers!
- Even more so people who drive with thier REAR fog light on (you know that REALLY bright rear red light that blinds you when your following them), i had a run in with a guy doing this a few months ago. For some reason he didn't like me driving behind him with my high beams on
- Ohh and BMW drivers (haha yes dig at Aaron because he's a bmw driver)
Nicko.... Gotta agree there my friend, drive and talk no problem. but for fuck sake keep a constant speed.. or use cruise control or something.
-P platers in general I think I need to add. I was a p-plater once. I didn't tailgate, I didn't act stupid on the roads. The only thing I did was put a MASSIVE stereo into a 3 door hyundai that im sure annoyed some people, but it was only really used for comic value, not doof doof all bloody day long (2x10" boxed kicker subs and some 7x10's for good measure ), but what I see some p-platers doing just screams "pick me, pick me... I want to be an organ donor". Which reminds me.. stop lying down in your cars you people... if you cant see your windscreen wipers then you're too low.. sick the fuck up, and you were given 2 arms so use them both on the steering wheel!!!!
Andrew... BMW drivers.. you're right.. they are obnoxious twats for the most part, driving around in their X5's listening to ABC Classical FM. Although BMW's do have a place, pull up against some P plater in a commonbore andd show them what a REAL V8 is like
YOU LIAR! as if you didn't act stupid on the roads when you were a p plater!!! i remember you coming flying around the corner into my parents street and you understeering up on the nature strip on the opposite side of the road!!! haha
I never had a car good enough to do stupid things in... and now I can afford a half decent car, I'm too boring to do them... (plus it's kinda hard to do donuts in a 4x4..)
), but what I see some p-platers doing just screams "pick me, pick me... I want to be an organ donor". Which reminds me.. stop lying down in your cars you people... if you cant see your windscreen wipers then you're too low.. sick the fuck up, and you were given 2 arms so use them both on the steering wheel!!!!
I would however like to add:
- Those who are unable to maintain a constant speed while talking on a mobile - I don't even get that mad if someone's talking on a mobile but if you can't do two things at once, maybe focus on the one thing that might kill you!
- In fact ANYONE who's unable to maintain a consistent speed... especially those who find themselves having to break because they've gotten too close to the car in front which is traveling consistently....
- P plate fuckers who tailgate in traffic.. I CAN'T GO ANY FASTER THAN THE CAR IN FRONT so wrap your car around a pole and then see if your wheelchair can go any faster....